two personality...

The collision in my world happens all the time. I am searching my way back home.To become the real me. I have too many definition of myself. In the end, I cant find my own reflection in the mirror. I saw somebody else and it is kind of common as I experienced many times before. It is seldom breaking my spirit. I just want somebody to love me of who I am.

"dunia fantasi"

Dalam "dunia fantasi" of mine there will be

1. The feeling of sadness, stress and worry are not ever allowed.
2. Everyone will equally being treated and no one is excluded
   
3. Everyone is freely to say their own opinion
4. Everyone will have their driving license without need to take the test repeatedly.
5. Everyone will have their quiz or exam only when they are prepared
6. Hot temper person in education field are excluded. ONLY FAIR AND NICE IS ALLOWED
7. Nimi to be marry with Prince William, haha
8. Uniten Muadzam to be relocated...
9. All Chicken must to be sembelih. In other word, there will be an extinction of chicken. NO MORE CHICKEN...
10. I have white Ferrari and a big bungalow with lift and CCTV for security.I will be having robot as my maid,butler,driver and my gardener. I will not live in the same house with my parents as I will give a castle made by gold for them.

my fantasy world is cool to think off...haha, have a nice dream to all of u

to win or to lost

Winning or losing?What is the difference?In the end, I still have to lost everything and will never be the same again...

Recently, I felt stress and I am freaking out. I wish I can run in despair. Sometimes and most of the time, my mom keep up pushing me, making me more than I can achieve. It is good to have pressure but too much can kill. She keep on saying I am her hope. I am scare thinking what happen if thing goes otherwise.

My mom is not in a good shape as she previously have an injection for her unhealthy bone. It is normal for her age but somehow the doctor said I can have it as well, no matter what age I am as I have sciolisis.Sciolisis is early symptom for hunch back. Sciolisis is bend back bone which sometimes narrow my movement. My father seems cant accept the truth that he always show his discomfort when I talked about this. My father is a very hot temper man. However, I know deep in his heart he love me. Oh yeah, soon will be his birthday. 24th december will be for my dad special day and 25 december will be for my youngest nephew,danish 1st birthday...wah..and 26 december will nbe my day out. I am thinking to go out with both xin yi and sandra on that day..Hopefully we can cover up what we had been missing previously..

Xin yi and I knew each other long time ago. I seldomly went to school with her. She have a nice dad. Her dad is a very soft man. Meanwhile, Sandra and I knew each other about 4 years ago. I knew Sandra through Xin yi. Sandra is very talkative girl but best of all she is very nice. She once said that I am her first Malay friend. She said Malay seems to be ignorant. I disagree with her as I knew the true perspective of Malay.

The rain cant stop on pouring and I cant stop from hating you. I hate you that much. Can you please go away from my sight? I hate everything bout you and I wish for ur disappearance..I tried to forgiveboth u and myself but someway or another I caught in the middle. I am sorry but I really do hate you. I tried and tried to think positively. Moreover, I cant even figure out y I hate u. You did not do any mistake to me. I am sorry to hate you. Perhaps,one day I can erase that feeling and we can be friends..just not today or in the short term....

komen buat hari ini..

Masya'Allah...

bak kata ustaz anuar pagi tadi, makin kita xnak jumpa org tu makin kita kerap kita bertembung. Benar kata ustaz tu, tpi jika kalau boleh kali ini sya ingin memperbetulkan hubungan yg ada sesama sendiri. Kurangkan kontroversi, tingkatkan pretasi...

Oh ya, kli ini sya berhajat xnak buka skype & kurangkan aibob..insya'Allah, moga menjadi tekad kali ini...lgipun sya hanya ingin yg terbaik buat diri yg xbeberapa pandai ini. sya aim for cpa 4.Insya'Allah...

Hari ini ada add drop. Sya berjaya jugak menukar beberapa matapelajaran,Alhamdullilah. Hari isnin, sya hanya ada stu je klas,jdi bolehla blek muadzam pd hari isnin. Saya juga byk gak sama kelas dgn zahirah,teman sekampung. Cuma ada stu je masalah, saya kna bljar costing dgn sir amran. Hish, risau gak blajar dgn dia. Ntah fhm ke x nanti, hish malasla nak fkir ni semua. Rina nak tkar kpd pn azrinawati. Ntah mengapa sya xnak buat sedemikian juga. Sya redha je dgn ketentuan Illahi, mungkin ada hikmah sya kna blajar dgn sir amran.